5/13/08

Not To Be Outdone

Look at the top of this blog. See that scene from paradise. That's the top of the hill on the way to my house. Isn't it lovely?

This morning, as I was getting ready for my most rewarding job, I realized that my iron had decided to quit working. Not to be outdone, I tossed the khakis into the dryer, retrieved them and a pullover and I was good to go.

Next, I let the kids in to eat their breakfast. Not to be outdone, they stepped on the edge of their food pan flinging pea sized pellets all over the entire kitchen and joyously chasing them all the while shoving them underneath every shelf and appliance they could find. Then they proceeded to go "to bed" and would not budge when I sounded the "kids - it's time to go out". These little guys used to fit in one hand. Now, I can barely lift them with both hands. But, I was not outdone- I carried them - one by one - out the front door.

As I was heading to the car, I found the missing kitten. Not to be outdone, their mother ran into the house and managed to place "fear pellets/poop" underneath every piece of furniture I own. Oh what join to re-unite mother and child! Mother's life may be cut short if this incident repeats itself!

Car starts, I turn around and begin heading down that beautiful hill towards destination job. Not to be outdone, as we pull on to the highway, car blows the right rear tire! But that's what cell phones are for. Not to be outdone, my husband has plugged his into the charger and left it turned off making sure to have it fully charged for his work day ahead.

Well, it's only a three mile walk to the house. Not to be outdone, I begin heading that direction. At this point, I am most certain that he will get one of the five or so messages I have left and realizing the seriousness of the latter threats, race towards destination breakdown panic stricken with fear of what could happen if he does not make it. Not to be outdone, he never checks his phone.

I only had to cover a mile or so of highway and fortunately, it's a little early for truckers to be on the road, so I safely make it to the dirt road, the mile towards that hill and then began progressing towards destination home/must kill husband! Not to be outdone, he sits calmly watching the news and planning his day ahead.

As I topped the hill I realized with great joy overcoming exhaustion that the contractors HAVE shown up today! Joy oh joy- contractors are not ones to be dependable when you have everything on schedule. Not to be outdone, my husband has decided to join them and offer them what few vittles remain in the kitchen sans cell phone (I am still calling leaving hostile and threatening messages through gasps for air after traversing the hill!)

As I approach the unsuspecting crew, inhaling the food they have salvaged from the kitchen, not even a dog notices me. So, not to be outdone, I continue my quiet approach and seize the opportunity to scare the living daylights out of them when I announce my car has left me stranded! Not to be outdone, the look of terror in their faces is only slightly bested by the sound of fear in their voices as they try to politely say "and how did you get here!" Oh - not to be outdone- I announce to one and all EXACTLY how I got there - with two feet - all fourteen miles, uphill, life in danger, late for work and WITHOUT the assistance of ANY MALE PERSON on the entire planet!

Sometimes patience and quiet are a virtue. But when you have been left stranded and your better half fails to keep his cell phone on, loud ranting trantrums are THE single most effective means of motivating a crew of three into speeding to the wayward vehicle and without hesitation replacing the destroyed tire with the little tiny bicycle tire they call a donut! And, not to be outdone, they offered me a vehicle and proceeded to get the tire replaced, the car gassed completely up and clean before swapping with me at lunch.

You see those little sweet deer in the photo? They had to have seen it all. Not to be outdone, they never let anyone see them watching. My guess is that they are having quite the laugh over all of it this afternoon.

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