5/2/08

What is this stuff?

I have been reading this week about the price of wheat, corn and other staples that I personally have always taken for granted. The news is gloom and doom. The world is quickly becoming a dismal place. So, I began to wonder....

Kentucky Fried Chicken now has "snackers" for $.99. McDonald's has their version as does Wendy's and many other fast food chains. Yet, those foods that are "staples" are skyrocketing in pricing. I keep Wheatthins and/or Triscuits at my desk all the time. I have chronic munchers disease and I figure as long as I try to keep "healthy" munchables at my desk, I won't kill myself or have to continually replace my wardrobe. At the rate the price of wheat is increasing, I may just start eating gold jewelry.

My sister donated her kidney to her husband a few years back and went through an intensive course of nutrition goods and bads. Yeah ....blah blah blah...she's a hero and all that blah blah blah (inject selfish "make this about me" stuff here). Included in that training was information regarding the evil twin to healthy snacks - sodium. Sodium for those of you who grew up like me is simply salt. Back in my younger days, you used salt on everything. You tossed a big ole hunk of salt pork into a pot of beans or stew to "add flavoring". You salted your dumplings. You used salt along with lard in your biscuits. The world without salt was the world without flavor.

Time moved forward, many people from my day died of heart attacks or strokes and we began to analyze what may be leading to this situation. Surely, bad health was not just bad health. Thus, the conclusion that the one thing that has been utilized since the beginning of time - salt - was an evil evil thing. The only thing that would make us willing to give up salt was the fear of death - that inevitable ending that we all must face yet we would all prefer to face when we are unable to even know how to chew our food. So, to make this short, sister was informed to examine the sodium content to the minute level of any packaged and processed food in the universe!

Guess what? These wonderful wheat snacks are only wonderful because they have sod...er...salt in them. I guess without the salt, it's like eating hay but with the salt, I would be willing to pay the excessive market price to convince myself I am eating healthy food. Add to the price of wheat and corn, the price of fruits and vegetables and ANYONE should be able to figure out that this is all a conspiracy by the fast food chains to kill us with their oh so good and oh so cheap alternatives. Thanks to a bunch of scientists, they've had to compete with the knowledge that what they sell and serve may not be so healthy, triggerring our fear of death.

So, they have devised an evil plan. While the entire nation is struggling to blame someone for our oil prices, they secretly worked to drive up the prices of all those things scientist keep telling us may not be so great for us. Then, they are offering these wonderful $.99 deals to convince us they are our friend. I for one believe it! They are my friend! Why eat salted hay when I can get a delicious sandwich or dippable product fresh out of the kitchen? And...I can get this product for a fraction of the cost.

In all honesty, I love Wheatthins and won't be giving them up anytime soon but I also love my fast food. I suppose there is a happy medium in there and I intend to work like crazy to find it! I am going to combine, mix and purchase all sorts of different types of fast foods and healthy snacks until I find the right mix for me! If it kills me, it beat something else to the punch! We just can't live our lives in constant fear. Yes, we have to protect ourselves but life worrying about death isn't much of a life at all. I am going to print that last sentence out and keep it in my wallet. I love being able to justify myself.

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