6/9/08

The Economics of Shoes

I have discovered one item that should be included on everyone's list of priorities - shoes! Yes people - shoes. I'm not talking about the fashionable-$200.00 a pair jobbees but just a plain and ordinary pair of shoes. Of course, we all have shoes, but they are worth FAR MORE than we previously suspected.

For instance. Just the other day my husband asked me to research the cost of a can crusher. Apparently, the price of returned cans is so much now that we simply can not afford to not recycle. I bought him a pair of big shoes. Now, he can stomp those cans and have his feet protected all at the same time - a double bonus.

Let's look at it a bit more. My daughter stepped on a bee. It was expensive to get the antihistamines and bandages. So, I bought her a pair of shoes. Now, she can not only control the population of pesty insects all in one and without chemicals, but she has the double benefit of no thorns or splinters in her foot.

Even further. Husband wanted to buy a golf cart to go back and forth the 1oth of a mile to the mailbox at the gate. What's the savings of $3000.00 vs $39.95? It's really simple math. Add to that bonus the fact that I won't have to invest in a gym membership for him or any expensive diet or exercise videos.

I have broken my toes on both feet at least...well....let's say I have x-rays enough to line my bathroom wall. I now have an $8.00 pair of shoes I wear in the house. It's great. I no longer have to suffer the insurance deductible and humiliation of driving myself to the emergency room while my pinky points at the passenger PLUS, I can't tell how dirty my floors are because the stuff sticks to my shoes instead of my feet! So, I am quite possibly saving myself on cleaning supplies as well (that last part is pure fiction - I swear!)

I am thinking of developing my own info-mercial selling shoes that I can buy from some third world nation for next to nothing for three easy payments of $19.95. I may toss in a bonus item or two - you know - a dishrag for those wanting to save utility bills - it will be dual purpose- you can wash your dishes and not waste water and electricity and your walls- even dust with it. I could even toss in my new cost effective salad maker (a bowl with a lid, a knife and instructions on how to hand tear lettuce - cut it up, shred it up, put on lid, shake). It would not be a shoe but a lifesaving invention designed for your protection, health and inspiration (I will set up a website for people to blog and tell me how wonderful the new invention is, how they are losing weight from using their shoes, how they are saving in gas and how much simpler it is to STEP on a can than line it up in some hand crank device for crushing. Oh and the accolades I will be getting from OSHA for protecting housewives all over America from those evil cabinet corners!). As a final bonus, you get the handy dandy crushed can container for delivery to the recycle facility (a box of plastic trashbags - $2.00 at Dollar General - shhhhh)

Oh the joys of shoes! No more broken toes, no more outrageous gas bills for those trips to the mailbox and oh how much better you feel! Yes America. This new device will be available on-line very soon!

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