6/10/08

The Evil of Tomatoes

I heard on the news yesterday that tomatoes are evil! Yes, terrorists have figured out a way to systematically destroy our citizens by our never ending desire for tomatoes. I am convinced this is a work of terrorists since they know that Americans thrive on these wonderfully delicious fruits.

Of all the foods we consume, I wonder how universal the tomato is. If you want really rich italian food, it usually contains tomatoes. If you want a really good diet dish, there's usually some tomato in it. There's tomato soup which is the only companion for a grilled cheese sandwich. Then of course, the all time perfect pasta mate is tomato. This leads me to more self-reflection.

I am a certifiable pasta addict! My body craves the pasta like an alcholic craves...well...alcohol. And my favorite "dressing" for pasta would be - yes tomato...tomato sauce, stewed tomatoes, fresh tomatoes, sun dried tomatoes in white sauce, and just about any other way you can come up with pasta and tomatoes. The only better thing than that would be alfredo sauce. That's an evil sauce too - it's like 100% fat/cream with another 1000% caloric base! It's undeniably heaven on earth. The only bad thing about pasta with alfredo is you eventually run out.

My husband recently made the mistake of suggesting I was gaining weight. After he got back to his feet, he tried to recant and explain how good I look with a few extra pounds. So, I was contemplating diet recipes that I could incorporate pasta into and there are a few. But guess what? They usually have tomato in them and apparently tomatoes can now either kill you or make you wish you were dead. HOWEVER, and this could be bonus - if you get sick enough what happens? You lose weight and lots of it! But if you are sick and can't have tomato soup, how can you ever survive?

Then I wonder - will anti-bacterial soap not KILL the bacteria that is living on the tomatoes thus keeping it from killing us? Is that little piece of trivia being withheld because the terrorists control our media outlets and don't want us knowing we could possibly save ourselves. I'm not a scientist. I'm just a countrygirl.

I am in denial about needing to lose weight, I have always been a bit on the underweight side but I am old now so I deserve a few pounds. I am going to the store nevertheless to buy all the tomatoes I can find. If they don't assist with my diet, they may just kill my husband! Either way, I win!

(this blog entry is purely fictional material. Blogger in no way intends to kill, destroy or mame her husband even when he suggests weight gain! I love my husband - yes I do - fat ole me just loves the guy to death!)

1 comment:

TRT said...

You have outdone yourself with this one! I am laughing all the way to the… other room. Love it and God Bless