7/17/08

Mistakes

This morning I knocked the air freshener in our bathroom off the shelf and broke the nozzle rendering it completely useless. While this was a mistake, it was the third time I have done this. There is something wrong with a person who repeats the same mistakes!

As I was walking into the house for lunch, I managed to stub my toe and tear the end out of my shoe on my right foot. The toe is o.k. It's been stubbed so many times there is little left to break and the skin is like elephant leather. Again, there is something wrong with a person who repeats the same mistakes. There are many x-rays out there in many towns of my feet and toes. Sadly, the porch has not been moved since we lived on this property - so I can blame no one.

Someone brought us a delicious fresh watermelon to snack on here in the office. I am smarter than most people and realized that I could cut the pieces directly from the melon into a cup which is neater than eating with a paper towel. I cut my hand on the dull knife. There is something wrong with a person who repeats the same mistakes! I should not be allowed to handle knives of any kind.

As I was heading TO the kitchen from my desk, I once again clipped the corner of my desk. This desk has not been moved ...ever...and I now have a matching set of bruises where I hit it the other day on the way BACK to my desk. At least they match but...there is something wrong with a person who repeats the same mistakes.

As a result of this day and the repeated offenses I have made, I have decided that some evil force IS actually moving furniture, porches, cans of air fresheners and knives to the point that I am unable to handle them. They are so powerful and intelligent, I can't even SEE the slight changes in lattitude or longitude until I manage to damage something as a result of my misjudgment of their position. I am trying to figure out who is responsible for this evil conspiracy. At first I thought husband but he loves me and needs me. Then, I thought the dogs- but I buy their feed. Then, I thought - the cats - but they only slightly resent me in their world. Then, I thought- my co-workers but I mess up enough on my own that they don't need to worry about things.

Ever who you are - it's not funny. Quit moving my stuff to where I get hurt or break things and quit putting breakable things in my way! My family is really used to the disaster that I leave in my wake, but this town is too small for me to be turned loose in with all the potential disaster I can bring about. It's going to take me a while to figure it all out, but when I find out who you are, you better watch out!

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