It's turning out to be one of those days.

We were awakened at 5:00 to the glorious catterwalling of a stray cat taking on at least two of my cats and one dog. This cat has been here before. He's satan's feline equal and he has become very good at victimizing our cats and dogs. I got up and walked outside which normally results in his retreat, but he decided to take one last swipe at poor Spin before leaving. Spin didn't quit crying for at least ten minutes. Brutus and Jo kept looking at him and me as if to plead to stop the embarrassing charade and they finally just left us there. Spin was bleeding and I was trying in my blindness since I had not yet put in my contacts to identify and stop the bleeding.

This morning after I shut and secured the front gate, I realized that I was standing on the inside and my car was on the outside. I had two options - climb the gate or re-open. I actually re-opened it instead of climbing it which is something I would not normally do. Finally - I got to come to work!

Work has been fine today. The usual stuff, the usual mistakes, the usual stories I have to make up to convince everyone I am great.

Lunch was o.k. - I had a turkey subway sandwhich because my pants are telling me that I am getting fat. I have never in my life had to worry about weight gain until this last year. Now I worry with it daily - mainly because I refuse to replace my "retro-80s" wardrobe my daughter insists I have. I do believe that one day the 80's styles will be back in. Until then, I am just a dork. So, I ate my sandwich and my low-fat chips and I came back to discover that the Sit n Sip had Chicken Alfredo. The ONLY THING better than Jamie's Chicken Alfredo is his Shrimp and Pasta Alfredo! I logged back in and edited this because that's a lie! Jamie's Spaghetti is also GREAT and should be a daily special but Jamie doesn't love me enough to do that. Actually it should be a daily special and half price to those who would eat it everyday unless there was another pasta option that had alfredo with it. Then again, Jamie's onion rings have outdone those at Sonic. His hamburgers are terrific too if you are a hamburger person and his lunch/breakfast specials rate on up there as well. SEE - this really does explain why I am fat! I have always loved to eat and been blessed with a metabolism that allowed me to pretty much anything I wanted to. These days, if I think about eating I can feel the buttons screaming on my clothes. And I think about eating pretty much most of the time, especially if it is something Jamie may cook. My husband does too but he's learned to be very afraid of telling me how much better Jamie's dishes are than mine, so he quietly thinks about it. When I am told I have a short time to live, I intend to take Jamie hostage and force him to cook for me 24 hours a day. I will go down one happy fat woman! I no longer think about food - I obsess! Oh and one must never forget the old fashioned southern style banana puddin'. Jamie makes the best..I mean ...my mom makes the best (Jamie...she can't see inside the parenthesis so I can tell you here I said that in case she reads this).

So, I have missed the one specialty I have to beg to get but hey, maybe I won't be so fat - NOT! I may call in a few minutes and see if there were any leftovers. Perhaps I can beg my way back into his good graces. Perhaps he knows I was innocent of not checking the menu after a morning of backwards gate lockings and dogs getting b..h slapped before dawn.

The day isn't a total loss. I still have the afternoon to re-align my whatever it is you re-align and pray for good tidings. Who knows, maybe the lottery guys will show up and tell me I have just won! I am told that my simple life is actually just a really boring life! How can that be when one spends their days imagining delightful recipes and fending of rogue cats! Hopefully when I get home tonight and shut the gate, I will find myself on the right side this time. If not, I will climb over it instead of re-opening it this time - one last chance at rebellion.

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