8/19/08

Spiders

It's foggy here this morning! I love the fog. Then again, I love the rain, I love the sun, I love clouds. I suppose I just love the variety that we have in our daily lives that is provided compliments of God. The fog hangs on the spider webs and creates a new world in the fields. They glisten and look like crystal laiden canvas across the grass. It's amazing how a spider must work everyday to maintain or re-create their little homes.



I do not particularly like spiders! Honestly, I loathe them! There is nothing more horrifying than waking up in the middle of night KNOWING without a doubt that the sensation that awakened you was a spider crawling down your arm. When that happens to me, I lay there wide-eyed and completely unable to go back to sleep. I have to decide whether I should risk waking up Dave with an all out search for the creature or just lay there and hope it was just passing by. I have discovered that you can now buy spray JUST FOR spiders and it guarantees a 12 week time period before they return. My newest plan is to provide him with a mask so at night when I get this sensation, I can just fog the entire area. We may lose a few fish or frogs in the process, but ....it's worth it.



In my old age, I have developed less of a "kill or be killed" feeling about spiders and I am willing to allow them to be captured and moved outside. My mother will be proud to hear this as she has an affection for those gigantic and gruesome banana spiders that weave the webs in places that they KNOW you will be passing. She will take her broom and gently gather up the spiders and their egg sacks and move them into other areas where they can......errrrr...ummmmm....cough cough...choke - reproduce! She STILL tries to relay the story of Charlotte's Web to us in explanation and I still believe that pig should have stomped on that spider. O.k. the spider DID save the pig's life or so the story goes but that was PURE fiction. We all know spiders would prefer to eat the pig just like humans.



I have already relayed in some post the story of walking through the web in the wee hours of the morning- fainting - crying to Daddy. That web was a banana spider web as I recall. I wonder if I make "no spiders allowed" signs, since Mom says they are all intelligent and such, would they find another home. If so, they can live! That's a pretty good plan.



This year is a particularly good year for spiders on the farm. I don't know if it's the moisture or the food supply, but they are thriving. This area is famed for its black widow population and I am becoming quite skilled at identifying where they may be hiding and proving time and again to my husband that I am right! Spiders are evil and their little spider eggs and little spider babies are evil.



All this evil being said, I learned a long time ago that a cob web placed in a gushing wound will clot the blood and stop the bleeding. This is particular useful with horses who tend to cut their ankles on anything they can find to rub them on. If we could only have cobwebs without having the associated spiders. Then again, they do fill those webs up at night with mosquitoes, flies and all sorts of other bugs.



When I think about the spider underworld, I envision the scene from "Beetlejuice" where they are looking down on the little pretend town and there are signs for brothels and clubs and neighborhoods. Perhaps we need little flashing signs for spiders that say things like "no trespassing" (indication of choking webs) or "men at work" (indication of prowling spiders) or maybe something like "beware of dog" (indication of wolf spiders - the most ugly and evil of the spider family). This way, us humans could avoid them and we could all live in peace. Then, maybe in their little spider preschools, they would teach them that touching human skin results in instantaneous death or death by gas fumes. They could teach them to stay out of cabinets, shoes and closets. Sure, they would have a few rebellious teen spiders and there would be little spider headlines about the death of several of them at one time during home invasions or drunken web spinning incidents in the wrong place, but for the most part, perhaps the world could co-exist more peacefully with spiders and humans.



It's a thought and all you elder spiders out there reading this should consider it so there could be more make it into the little spider nursing homes instead of the little spider graveyards. You may have those fangs, but we have shoes, flyswatters and spray. You can not win!

1 comment:

"JEANNELLE" said...

Oh, my goodness, I did not know that spider webs would cause clotting of blood. Most interesting and possibly useful info!